Everyone takes classes in school for various academic subjects, but also for useful skills like shop and home economics. Unfortunately, no one ever teaches young people how to present themselves in important business or social settings, despite the fact that these can be tremendously important in determining eventual success in life. Fortunately, all those under-educated graduates can put a capstone on their years by reading books on small talk.
There is a distinct minority of people among us who simply seem to have a gift for making a dinner party shine with their conversation. Often enough, these turn out to be those raised in upper middle class or just plain upper class families, among whom effective light talk is a matter of training. Most will admit that one of the advantages inherent in an Ivy League background is not about academic excellence at all, but rather, in being trained to talk about nothing in an engaging way.
By comparison, those making the move into the professions from a working class background might be talented and have a great work ethic, but because of that background might lack skill in light conversation. A stock literary figure remains the newly-arrived industrialist who lacks in "breeding, " who is simply too rich not to be invited to the parties, but is broadly unpopular. This sort is usually marked by his coarse use of language.
It isn't difficult to imagine, or for that matter simply recall, situations in which it is to one's advantage to be able to make light conversation. An obvious example is dating, which includes everything from an effective flirtation in a movie line to give and take during an actual date. It includes everything from flirting to pick up lines.
Business also affords a variety of circumstances in which one's ability to make conversation might make all the difference. There are any number of wealthy people whose big break came when they charmed the right person during a random elevator ride. There are also those obvious occasions, such as a job interview, or entertaining a potential client.
Most of us remember social occasions which seemed lightly festive at first, but were rife with conflict and intrigue just under the surface. Something as innocent as an art opening can be quite nearly a battlefield if one is an ambitious young painter. However, in such a setting it is wise not to parade one's ambition, but to affect a casual attitude.
It is important to avoid being coarse while trying to be witty, and it is important not to try too hard at being witty. Good conversation requires passing knowledge of several topics, but one mustn't become intemperate about any of them. The most important talent is the talent for liking people one encounters. For this there is no substitute.
The most coarse behavior of all is to ignore people who are not useful to one's ambitions. Befriending any and all, at least for the length of a party, is the best way to make oneself a valued guest. The best way to uncover whether one has made a success of oneself at the party is whether one is invited to future parties.
There is a distinct minority of people among us who simply seem to have a gift for making a dinner party shine with their conversation. Often enough, these turn out to be those raised in upper middle class or just plain upper class families, among whom effective light talk is a matter of training. Most will admit that one of the advantages inherent in an Ivy League background is not about academic excellence at all, but rather, in being trained to talk about nothing in an engaging way.
By comparison, those making the move into the professions from a working class background might be talented and have a great work ethic, but because of that background might lack skill in light conversation. A stock literary figure remains the newly-arrived industrialist who lacks in "breeding, " who is simply too rich not to be invited to the parties, but is broadly unpopular. This sort is usually marked by his coarse use of language.
It isn't difficult to imagine, or for that matter simply recall, situations in which it is to one's advantage to be able to make light conversation. An obvious example is dating, which includes everything from an effective flirtation in a movie line to give and take during an actual date. It includes everything from flirting to pick up lines.
Business also affords a variety of circumstances in which one's ability to make conversation might make all the difference. There are any number of wealthy people whose big break came when they charmed the right person during a random elevator ride. There are also those obvious occasions, such as a job interview, or entertaining a potential client.
Most of us remember social occasions which seemed lightly festive at first, but were rife with conflict and intrigue just under the surface. Something as innocent as an art opening can be quite nearly a battlefield if one is an ambitious young painter. However, in such a setting it is wise not to parade one's ambition, but to affect a casual attitude.
It is important to avoid being coarse while trying to be witty, and it is important not to try too hard at being witty. Good conversation requires passing knowledge of several topics, but one mustn't become intemperate about any of them. The most important talent is the talent for liking people one encounters. For this there is no substitute.
The most coarse behavior of all is to ignore people who are not useful to one's ambitions. Befriending any and all, at least for the length of a party, is the best way to make oneself a valued guest. The best way to uncover whether one has made a success of oneself at the party is whether one is invited to future parties.
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