The following account is a true story that happened to me last year on Saint Patrick's Day. The story is short and sweet, so no need to go get popcorn or take a bathroom break. It involves a lovely young lady, terrible choices, Saint Patrick's Day, ridiculous Irish tee shirts, and my inevitable lonely death.
The specific thing that I lost because of my silly Irish tees is a woman. This is not just any woman, but the girl that I had been crushing on ever-so-hard in my office building for something like 3 years. I would usually only see her in the morning as we rode the elevator up to our respective jobs. Long red hair, freckles, and a smile to die for.
All it takes for a bit of dating success is initiative sometimes, my friends. Sometimes you're practically half-asleep riding the elevator up and instead of saying your normal "hello" to this girl you like so much, you say something impulsive like, "It would be really great if we could go out on a date!" Yeah, it was lame because it rhymed like a Dr. Suess poem. Despite my lameness, she actually agreed!
Well, what I didn't realize until the next day when I came to work and everyone was wearing green, is that the next day was Saint Patrick's Day. While I was figuring out what I should do about my date I was being pinched every three minutes or so because I had, of course, forgotten all about the holiday. I normally go out drinking and act like a fool on Saint Patrick's Day...but now I had a date with my dream girl, so I had to adjust.
Let me inject right here that I know that I'm an idiot. They say that hindsight is 20/20, but mine is more like x-ray vision. I can see through every bad decision I made that night and relive my regret weekly. I thought that I could go on my date, enjoy a meal together, and then go right to the bar to meet with my friends. That may have worked except for the fact that I had to dress in my Irish pride t shirts for the bar before the date if I was going to make it on time to have fun.
To my credit, I got to the bar and grill we were meeting at for our date early. I sat there, happily drinking beer and waiting for this beautiful woman to come spend some quality time with me. When she showed up and saw me sitting there in a bright green Irish t-shirt and orange pants, she just froze. I smiled and waved and she just turned around and walked right back out the door. I am an idiot, I ate all alone, and I got ridiculously drunk that night.
I don't have to mention that she never accepted one of my many attempts at a second date. I did have a great night after the date, though...so there's some silver lining to that terrible life-lesson I learned that day. Take it from me, friends: girls don't think that silly Irish t-shirts are as awesome as you do, even on St. Patrick's Day.
The specific thing that I lost because of my silly Irish tees is a woman. This is not just any woman, but the girl that I had been crushing on ever-so-hard in my office building for something like 3 years. I would usually only see her in the morning as we rode the elevator up to our respective jobs. Long red hair, freckles, and a smile to die for.
All it takes for a bit of dating success is initiative sometimes, my friends. Sometimes you're practically half-asleep riding the elevator up and instead of saying your normal "hello" to this girl you like so much, you say something impulsive like, "It would be really great if we could go out on a date!" Yeah, it was lame because it rhymed like a Dr. Suess poem. Despite my lameness, she actually agreed!
Well, what I didn't realize until the next day when I came to work and everyone was wearing green, is that the next day was Saint Patrick's Day. While I was figuring out what I should do about my date I was being pinched every three minutes or so because I had, of course, forgotten all about the holiday. I normally go out drinking and act like a fool on Saint Patrick's Day...but now I had a date with my dream girl, so I had to adjust.
Let me inject right here that I know that I'm an idiot. They say that hindsight is 20/20, but mine is more like x-ray vision. I can see through every bad decision I made that night and relive my regret weekly. I thought that I could go on my date, enjoy a meal together, and then go right to the bar to meet with my friends. That may have worked except for the fact that I had to dress in my Irish pride t shirts for the bar before the date if I was going to make it on time to have fun.
To my credit, I got to the bar and grill we were meeting at for our date early. I sat there, happily drinking beer and waiting for this beautiful woman to come spend some quality time with me. When she showed up and saw me sitting there in a bright green Irish t-shirt and orange pants, she just froze. I smiled and waved and she just turned around and walked right back out the door. I am an idiot, I ate all alone, and I got ridiculously drunk that night.
I don't have to mention that she never accepted one of my many attempts at a second date. I did have a great night after the date, though...so there's some silver lining to that terrible life-lesson I learned that day. Take it from me, friends: girls don't think that silly Irish t-shirts are as awesome as you do, even on St. Patrick's Day.
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