Saturday, 10 May 2014

Best Zombie Movies? What Are The Rules?

By Mickey Jhonny


The question is frequently posed, what are the best zombie movies? To answer this question, however, one has to first in fact be clear about just what qualifies as a zombie movie. Or, for that matter, what qualifies a zombie. The uninitiated might be surprised to learn this isn't so straightforward a matter as it first seems. We won't presume here to settle the much debated sprinters vs stumblers debate, nor what constitutes being dead. Even leaving aside those controversies, though, the matter isn't necessarily straightforward. For instance, simply calling them the undead or living dead leaves open the place of vampires. They too share the gray place between dead and alive, but, they aren't zombies, that's for sure. So, some kind of rules will be helpful in determining the parameters of what qualifies.

Well, they do say that rules are made to be broken. And it's certainly true that the rules guiding conventions in regards to movie zombies have been broken plenty enough. Nevertheless, there remain some pretty enduring rules. Even many of those that have been broken have not thereby been vanished from the genre. So, while a little flexibility may be required in the application, some parameters can be usefully identified.

Our examination of zombie movie rules will be helped by acknowledging the great impact of George Romero. So the rules will be initially broken into the pre and the post Romero zombies. After that some further rules about the narrative mainstays of zombie movies will be considered.

The Pre Romero Zombies

1. Following in the Haitian voodoo tradition that gives rise to the zombie idea, the pre-Romero zombies often had a master of some sort who raised them and thereby controlled therm.

2. Already in this early period it was common that zombie ambulation was characterized by slow, unbalanced motion.

3. Even before Romero, the convention developed of setting zombies in an apocalyptic nihilistic world.

4. Often dovetailing with the above convention, zombiism was frequently depicted as a plague-like occurrence.

Romero/post-Romero Zombies

5. No longer under the control of a master-mind, zombies became more like a natural disaster. Sometimes they were interrupted as nature itself striking back for alleged humanly caused harms.

6. They were now driven by an insatiable hunger to eat the living, which had (and apparently required) no further explanation.

7. Romero's zombie attacks took on a different cinematic flavor, depicted in gruesome and graphic detail. There was now a premium on the re-creation of lifelike blood and gore.

8. Perhaps the most enduringly influential Romero idea was that zombies were only "killed" by a decisive head shot, resulting in brain damage.

9 Though perhaps as enduring as #8 is the premise that the zombie plague, which as we saw predates Romero's vision, was spread through the human population by zombie bites.

Stock ingredients for a zombie movie

10. A generic moron, who out of stupidity, selfishness, cowardice or general inhumanity will prove to be the weak link in the fortifications protecting the straggling survivors against the zombies.

11. Straggling survivors, of course, are also required. As the genre develops more and more these straggler groups are depicted in a manner suited to please the most vigilant diversity commissar: with an improbable mix of ethnicity, gender and age. Presumably this is all intended as a microcosm of the human condition, with its the hope and futility, dignity and venality thoroughly on display.

12. The "what's happening" factor. Always in the beginning, no one seems to be able to figure it out. Despite the rather large number of zombie movies, it always appears as though zombie movies take place in a world where no one has even seen one. And certainly no public official ever has. They just can't figure it out!

13. Zombie movies are not really about zombies. They in fact are about the deterioration of society and human frailty and vanity.

14. Some poor sap, emotionally attached to one of the zombies, just can't believe his or her loved one is now a flesh eating ambulating corpse. It usually goes badly.

15. A peace maker and implicit leader, who tries to pull everyone together and is usually thanked for the effort by some obnoxious jerk eventually accusingly commenting "who made you leader?"

16. And, last, but far from least, we need some hotties -- from both sides of the gender divide. Call it "love interests" if you'd like. Personally, I suspect these are secretly the main attraction of major zombie movie geeks, who can finally credibly think, "Those babes will have to have sex with me, now! How else will the human race be repopulated?" The problem of course is, as mentioned above, the hotties are usually represented by both genders. So, in fact, poor geek, there's still some alpha type getting in the way of your apocalyptic fantasy. But, at least it gives them hope. What's the real point of a zombie apocalypse if you can't have a little hope of making it with a hottie?

So, there you go; there's our 16 rules for identifying zombies and their movies. Now, next time you're asked about the best zombie movies , you know what you're talking about!




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